BOAT RIDE!!!

I worked the overnight last night and didn't sleep for more then maybe 20 minutes today. My friend calls me to hang out... so we went to Arby's and the Mall.... It was fun to get away, I got my ring cleaned and just hung out with him. We don't get to do that much lately.

I get ready to come home and he mentions WEATHER PERMITTING that he would be taking the boat out later that night. So, I went home, got changed and waited till six to see if Mike would come or not. I got him to agree to come. So, Bic hooks the boat up and we leave to meet mike in sandusky.

We get to Sandusky and get the boat into the water JUST as the wind is picking up and it is starting to get nasty out. SO, we wait for about 15 minutes and its getting BAD so they yell at me to get out, they are docking this thing, getting it on the trailer NOW!

Needless to say, they pretty much failed. I was told to get out, unlock the vehicle and get in!! EITHER - I was in the way, or the guys didn't want me to get hurt.... I say both. They had plenty of issues getting this beast on the trailer. Finally, Bic jumps in and pulls away.... boatless. I'm confused out of my mind, scared too.... "oh, its cleared up we are taken 'er out now"

SO, we get in and I'M SCARED. I feel sick and felt like the boat was going to tip. For about 20 minutes i'm holding on for dear life. Finally I let myself relax because the waves finally calm down and I got to clear my head. I just sat staring at the back of the boat and into the water watching the "wake" just trail behind us. (i believe thats what its called)

It just was showing me how.... the past is the past.... it will fade and you still have to keep going... you can't get it back. So, I've realized I need to just take my friends NOW as they come and quit worrying about the people i lost in my past. My boyfriend loves me, its been about 15 months now and i STILL have doubts that I'm not good enough.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH....I need to start believing in myself more!!!!!!!!!!!! (i love you mike!)


Thanks to Mike, Bic, and Spoon(i guess)......

its changed my life. You guys are flipping amazing!!!